If you’re married, been to a wedding, or simply watched one on television, you’ve heard these words “in sickness and in health.” Having already been a mom when I got married, I experienced some sick worries and scares. Yet still, I wasn’t prepared for what that part of my vows would mean as married parents. So when your child is sick, it’s normal to feel a million emotions at once, especially if you have an older one that you’re used to their behavior and mannerisms. But dealing with a sick child during a pandemic, especially one that seems to have so many people baffled, is something that I didn’t think about when I said “I do”.
At the end of March when the changes Covid-19 brought about really set in and started affecting our every day lives, our 1 year old got sick. Can you imagine the deep rooted fear that tried to take hold of us? I won’t lie and say it was easy, but we quickly prayed and spoke life and the opposite of the fear we were feeling. We took him to the doctor and were relieved when we were told it was tonsillitis! Now that scare is gone, but of course there’s still concerns. Is he comfy? Does his throat hurt? Why won’t he eat? Is he not feeling well or just being his stubborn, boss baby self when he’s throwing himself back because he’s not getting something he wants? The list of questions and concerns went on and on. And on.
We weren’t prescribed an antibiotic for him and instead of feeling comfort, the next evening brought about even more worries as a rash developed and his level of crankiness seemed to intensify. We decided to take him to a small emergency clinic and of course only one of us was able to go in with him, which ended up being me. They performed tests, took his temp, and the hardest part of all, did chest x-rays. I’ll spare ya’ll all the details but let’s just say the way my baby was screaming and crying, it took everything in me to keep it together! And instead of him having tonsillitis, he tested positive for Flu A! Although we were grateful yet again that it wasn’t Covid-19, it was hard for me to feel complete relief. Honestly, I felt like I failed him a little. I see now that it was in that moment that I definitely felt a different meaning of those sacred words “in sickness and in health. But why?
Since I’m a stay at home mom, my husband looks to me for answers and reassurance when our youngest does something or acts in a way that appears new to him and I get that. This is his first time dealing with the infant/toddler stage when you have to rule out the possibilities. I’m also the one with him majority of the time so overall I know what’s out of the ordinary and/or something that he’s just learned. But I didn’t realize how much pressure that put on me until this bout of sickness or how much I’m still learning even though I’ve dealt with a 1 year old before. Him being congested and coughing a couple weeks before the positive Flu test made me wonder if I would have just pushed a little harder to get an in-person appointment instead of virtual, maybe I could have prevented this from happening. How did I miss the signs that something may be seriously wrong??
When you think about “in sickness and in health” in marriage, I feel like most people mainly think about it from the husband and wife standpoint but not the concept as a whole. What do you do when it’s your children that are sick and you want to place the blame on your spouse? Gratefully that wasn’t the case with my husband. Not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty blessed to be able to communicate freely with my spouse and not have to worry about how he will take it and vice versa. We already knew that we are both worriers and can sometimes jump to conclusions thinking the worse, but we had to explain to each other that no matter what the situation is, it’s important to always express what we are feeling when it comes to our kids. He could have blamed me or I could have blamed him but what good would that do? Instead we talked about the things we were feeling, thanked God for answers, and accepted all of what “in sickness and in health” means.